Everything Went Better Than Expected (Redux!)
by psytronix
Summary: Naruto's parents live through the Kyuubi's attack, and live to raise him in a wonderful world full of love and happiness. Naruto/Massive Harem, Genderbends, Sex Scenes (No goddamn children allowed), General Goofiness all around.


A/N: Finally redoing this! I should warn that there are many, many, many, many more genderbends here than there were before. Sorry. There's a lot more that I'm editing so this story isn't complete shit.

Sometimes, even the best of us must question ourselves to think of the best possible outcome to a scenario.

This, however was an answer not written by one of the best of us, but rather, me.

And, as it will and ever shall be, the fanboys can eat shit.

Let's hope I don't fuck this one up, too.

* * *

><p>(The Battle for Konoha – Midnight)<p>

Minato stood upon the frog giant Gamabunta's back, holding her son, with the Biju containment seal primed. It was only a matter of time before the Kyuubi would be sealed into Naruto, condemning him to a bitter life of a Jinchuuriki. Although Minato knew what life Naruto would lead without his parents, she could not ask another parent to relinquish their child for the safety of Konoha. It was Minato's love for her village that lead to her untimely demise.

Or so she thought.

But in her current state, having her summon occupy the Nine Tails whilst she flashed through hundreds of hand seals in mere seconds left her relying primarily on do-or-let-everybody-die instinct, and as such left little if not, no room for conscious thought. Having Gamabunta remain still as she placed Naruto on the gargantuan amphibians back, Minato finished the hand seal sequence without error, and began sealing the Kyuubi within her son.

As she felt herself losing consciousness as her chakra was siphoned, Minato fell to her knees to her newborn son and said to him;

"Whatever happens, know that I love you, Naruto… I know you'll have what it takes to succeed and surpass me…"

And with that, Minato gave her baby boy a kiss on the forehead, before she collapsed to the right of Naruto, and drifted away.

'_Funny, I thought now would be around the point some death god would show up and sweep me off my feet to the underworld or something.' _She smirked morbidly.

(Konoha Hospital – Midnight)

Kushina sat rigidly in her hospital bed, physically and mentally worn out, a rogue tear escaping from her eye. Her only son had been taken from her at birth to seal the Kyuubi, and her wife had to sacrifice her life in order to do so. Tsunade was sitting at her left consoling her, internally worrying frantically about the wellbeing of her godson and his other mother, but she had to be strong for Kushina. Shizune stood to the right of Kushina, monitoring her vitals. Jiraiya was standing at the foot of her bed, ready to retrieve Naruto at any notice after the demon had been sealed.

Earlier that night, Kyuubi had escaped from her seal as Kushina gave birth, the gate between her and the demon's consciousness weakened, allowing it to wreak havoc upon Konoha and wipe out a bulk of some minor clans, as they comprised the majority of Konoha's defence force. The Uchiha were sent in as back up but their numbers dwindled swiftly, leaving a pregnant Mikoto Uchiha along with her wife Fugaku and their 5 year old daughter Itachi to bunker down in the shelter of the Uchiha compound, to ensure the safety and the continuity of their clan.

Kushina sensed the monstrous demonic presence suddenly fade away.

"Minato… She's done it…" She said wearily to Tsunade and Jiraiya.

"Tsunade, you need to stay here and administer aid to Kushina, she'll need all the help she can get." Jiraiya ordered, without waiting for a response, as she evaporated into murky water.

(Back on the battlefield – Atop Gamabunta)

Jiraiya shed a tear for her fallen pupil, and rushed to pick up Naruto. Minato had her right hand over her son's stomach, at the exact location of the seal, keeping the newborn from crying even with all the panic and disruption around them. Naruto lay peacefully, unaware of his surroundings, his seal alternating between glowing a brilliant cerulean and a wrathful crimson.

Jiraiya lifted her hand only to see what she thought was Minato stirring.

'_Wait… ' _Jiraiya was visibly shocked, eyes widened, and hairs standing up on the back of her neck.

"Minato?! Minato!" Jiraiya shouted, gaining the attention of the Boss Frog.

"The girl's still alive? I knew she was strong, but that was a sacrificial forbidden sealing technique that required a soul as payment!" To say Gamabunta was shocked would be an understatement.

"If you two don't mind, me and Naruto are trying to sleep here! I'm exhausted!" Retorted the Yondaime. She yawned and picked her baby up.

Said Hokage stood before Jiraiya with a still sleeping Naruto in her arms, yawning and seemingly unaware that she was alive.

Jiraiya pinched herself on the arm at such an attitude, feeling as if as though her eyes deceived her.

"You're… You're shitting me, right? You pull off something like that, survive, and all you have to say for yourself is you're tired?"

"Wouldn't you be?" Retorted Minato after yawning a second time.

Jiraiya just shook her head sighed happily before grabbing Minato's shoulder, and then flickering back to the hospital.

(Back at the Hospital – 1 AM)

Kushina's vitals had levelled to their normal and she slept lightly for the first time in what felt like a week. She was suddenly awoken upon sensing two massive chakra signatures and a smaller, yet large one.

'_Wait… three signatures?'_

Kushina opened her eyes slowly to see Minato's form, along with Jiraiya and her newborn. If she had the energy, she would have let her jaw drop to stupid depths in shock of what she had seen, but settled on staring wide eyed at her smirking, exhausted wife.

Not really knowing what to say, Minato settled upon giving her Naruto, and kissing her chastely.

…Right before her smirking face met Kushina's freakishly strong open palm, sending her flying across the room.

"Yep, deserved that one… " Minato relinquished painfully, before groggily standing up to face her again.

"That's for almost killing yourself and sacrificing our _son_, Minato!" Kushina scolded her, a newfound rage coursing through her very being.

Minato still said nothing in response. I mean, what could be said? "Yeah, so, I survived a certain death scenario? Our son will grow up just fine? We can be mothers to a beautiful son?" Instead, Minato opted to just embrace Kushina and her son in a hug, a stupid grin damn near splitting her already pained face. Kushina let a stray tear of joy fall from her eye; momentarily forgetting her anger at her clod of a wife, and focusing on her child.

"I can't believe we're actually going to be parents!" She whispered into her ear, her rage momentarily subsided.

(Konoha – Over the course of 8 years)

To be born to the two most powerful kunoichi in the ninja world was no small burden to bear. As a result of this, Naruto received much training, both from his parents, and his godparents. Although she herself wasn't proficient in performing seal techniques, Kushina gave Naruto the history of the techniques from the Uzumaki bloodline – as well as teaching the young boy her forms of deadly taijutsu.

Minato taught her son many of the Namikaze family techniques, sealing techniques and methods for creating his own seals and jutsu, as well as diplomacy and history. Jiraiya taught Naruto chakra control and elemental manipulation whenever she came around to Konoha, as she had to maintain and monitor her spy network.

Finally, Tsunade trained Naruto's strength from the age of 8, by means of chakra augmentation and exhausting physical conditioning. By the time Naruto was old enough to join the Academy, he was nearing a quarter of her catastrophic strength, much to everyone's surprise. To boast that you were one quarter as strong as a woman who could create craters from punching the ground was not at all a small testament.

During their diplomatic studies, Minato would often bring along Naruto to meet with the clans and their leaders, and to befriend their children. Naruto had made good friends with all of them, especially Hiashi Hyuuga's daughter, Hinata and the second daughter of the Mikoto & Fugaku Uchiha, Sasuke.

They would often spar together as a trio, even though Hinata was a little shy at first, Naruto's hereditary charm quickly strengthened her confidence, along with Sasuke's reinforcement.

Naruto had learned that Sasuke's sister Itachi worked with the ANBU at only 16 years old, and was on her way to becoming a captain of her own squad. Sasuke had relayed that almost all of her clan was wiped out from the attack from Kyuubi, as her parents told her and Itachi.

Naruto thought back to when they first met.

(Konoha – October 12, 5 years after Kyuubi's attack)

Minato had brought Naruto with her to visit the remaining Uchiha within their compound. It was one of their first "diplomatic missions" together. Minato had come to talk to Fugaku about the future of the Uchiha and where they would stand in a still rebuilding Konoha. Naruto stood by his mother's side, until he saw a girl with odd looking black hair looking downtrodden, playing by herself.

"Mom, can I go play with her?" Naruto ushered Minato.

"I don't know son, you'd have to ask _her _mother first." Minato motioned towards Fugaku.

"Madam Fugaku, can I play with her?" The young Naruto questioned the acting head of the Uchiha clan.

Fugaku smiled warmly at Naruto's mannerisms. "Of course, she's been looking for a new friend ever since Itachi joined the Academy, now the poor girl is always either too tired from training or too entrenched studying to play with her."

And with that, Naruto nodded and walked over to Sasuke, who was balancing on one of the edges of a raised garden, in the bare courtyard of a Uchiha household.

"Whatcha doin'?" Naruto asked gingerly, with a curious smirk across his whiskered face.

"Nothin'." came Sasuke's half-hearted reply.

"Do you wanna play?" Sasuke perked up and almost lost her balance at this question.

Naruto jumped up at the edge of a raised garden wall, his heels overhanging the aged walls surface.

"Do you know how to play ninja?" Sasuke countered.

"Yeah, me and my mom play it all the time, but she pretends to lose a lot… Do wanna play that game?"

Sasuke caught Naruto's grin, and jumped down.

"Sure, I'll be the missing ninja, and you'll be the hunter!" And with that, she ran off towards the interior of the compound, with a still-smirking Naruto in swift pursuit.

Fugaku paused in mid-sentence as she watched the two children frolic in the empty area, jumping on roofs and leaping from ridiculous heights as if it was nothing. She, with Minato cast a loving smile to the two friends.

"They might make a cute couple someday…"

(Konoha – Present)

Naruto also learnt of the Hyuuga family history, of the Main House, Branch House, Caged Bird Seal, and the attempts made to kidnap Hinata by Kumogakure. She said that her cousin Neji's mother, who was a member of the Branch House, had almost gotten herself killed protecting Hinata, after being wounded grievously. It was only because of Tsunade and Shizune's medical expertise that he pulled through. Naruto also learned that her mother almost died due to chakra poisoning when she was four, again being saved by the medical expertise of Tsunade. Hinata looked up to her as a role model, and considered training under her to be a medic nin after she made chunin.

(Konoha Shinobi Academy – 2 years later)

Naruto leisurely made his way to the famed Shinobi Academy, wearing a simple getup suitable for training and combat. Upon walking in, Naruto saw the hustle and bustle of about 8 others – he was neither late nor early. He recognised the clan heads children currently here – which consisted of Chouji, Shino, Kiba, Ino, amongst some other civilian shinobi and a weird girl with pink hair.

'_Crazy pink hair… the Haruno girl…' _Naruto thought back to the boring council meetings his mother dragged him to in an effort to teach him diplomacy. Often the meetings consisted of the Civilian Council running on about random stuff to Minato and the Shinobi Council for approval. He remembered one such on the Civilian Council, Kizashi Haruno, a merchant with crazier hair than her daughter, and like Naruto, she was often dragged along to these meetings in an effort to teach her diplomacy.

He caught eye of Hinata sitting up the back and smiled at her, as he made his way to take the seat adjacent to hers. She saw the warm smile and gave another back to him, the slightest blush gracing her face.

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto greeted with his big grin, baring his canines in happiness to see his friend.

"Hello Naruto." Hinata greeted back with her own smile, blushing a little as she always would.

"Sasuke here yet?" Naruto asked. He didn't notice Hinata's eyes shift slightly.

"No, I haven't seen her this morning…" A look of concern spread across Hinata's face.

"I'm sure she'll be here soon, she wouldn't want to miss her first day!" Naruto said as he put a hand on her shoulder.

That seemed to calm Hinata down, and sure enough, Sasuke arrived a few minutes later, taking a seat next to Naruto with a tiny smirk on her face. The three conversed about their mornings until their teacher silenced the classroom. She was a chunin dressed in simple ninja attire – black pants, long-sleeved shirt and a green flak vest. From what Minato had told him, Naruto knew the woman as Iruka.

"Alright, alright settle down!" The spiky haired instructor shouted.

After the roll was called, Iruka told the class what they would be learning about during their attendance, which, much to Naruto's boredom, consisted primarily of what his parents and godparents had already taught him. Needless to say, Naruto's reason for attendance was for socialising and being filed into his genin team after he had passed the exams. His mother had informed / warned him that the academy would be a minor challenge to him, at the very least.

Still, Naruto was not one to pass up these kinds of opportunities, so he listened to his teacher's teachings intently.

(2 hours later)

Iruka had finished the students' introductory course and set them off to lunch. Naruto, Hinata and Sasuke decided to take up a table under the shade of a tree. They were quickly joined by the girl with the pink hair.

"Hello!" The cheery kunoichi chirped.

"Hey." Chorused the group. Sakura took the vacant seat next to Sasuke.

"You're Sakura Haruno, right? Kizashi's daughter?" Naruto pointed out.

"Yeah, and you're the Yondaime's son, aren't you?" She smiled to him.

"Heh, yeah! The names Naruto!" he said sheepishly.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke greeted quietly, fiddling with her packed lunch.

"Hinata Hyuuga, pleasure to meet you." Hinata bowed slightly from her seat.

"You guys excited for our new class? I can't wait to become a genin!" Sakura asked in an attempt to make conversation.

"Yeah!" they chorused once more.

"Hey Sakura, we were planning to train later, after school. If you're interested, would you like to jo-" Sasuke was cut off by the bell signifying their return to class.

The four briskly shuffled their way back into class, until Naruto collapsed to his knees, a devastating splitting ache coursing through his head. Grasping his head in an effort to comfort himself, Naruto let a deep howl in pain.

"Naruto! What's happening?" Hinata rushed to his side and placed a hand on his back. Sasuke had rushed inside to get Iruka and an eventual messenger to Kushina. Sakura just stood there, shocked.

"Mind… **splitting**… seals… **contact**… help… me!" Naruto barely managed to choke out.

He collapsed onto the ground, his consciousness gradually slipping away. Hinata quickly put his head into her lap.

Narutos last sight was Hinata's shaken pale face looking down at him, tears forming in her eyes from shock.

"Don't… cry… Hina…" He slipped into unconsciousness.

(…)

After what seemed like hours later, Naruto found himself inside a sewer of some sort, in front of a gargantuan central chamber. Darkness shrouded its entirety, save for a low red glow behind what looked like a massive set of prison bars. These bars had the symbol for "seal" written upon them.

"Hello?" Narutos voice echoed back to him. His head didn't hurt as bad anymore.

A low rumble came from the "prison". The kind of rumble that shook a person to their absolute core.

Naruto walked to the bars. A sense of dark, primeval power emanated from behind them.

"Hey! Anyone in there?" He yelled. The rumbling intensified, and the red glow brightened to an almost blinding level, revealing the form of a giant, nine tailed fox. Naruto could've taken one correct and wild guess to what the hell this beast was, having read up on it years previous.

The fox opened its massive red eyes and studied Naruto, looking him up and down, as if to silently evaluate and judge the boy from a single glance. Naruto stood completely motionless, maintaining stoic eye contact with the legendary creature.

After a brief few seconds of nothing but the foxes silent breathing and odd looks, it scoffed at the blonde.

"**Of all the heroes and legends, of all the skilled ninety-nine-thousand-nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine kunoichi in the land, I get stuck with the odd, single shinobi. And a terrible one, at that."** The fox stated, clearly unimpressed with the boy. It reclined itself into a lounging position and went to sleep.

Naruto got offended at this, and for a moment, forgot he was talking to one of the legendary Tailed Beasts.

"Hey, what are you saying?" He asked the furry titan in an offended matter, who lazily opened one eye to look at the boy, hoping to freeze him in fear again.

"**I pulled you into your subconscious so I could get a better look at you. I'd wager you wouldn't even be able to utilise Chakra Chains efficiently yet. Is this correct?" **The fox asked him, seeing the clear relation of Naruto to Kushina. Naruto just stumbled back.

"That's my mom's technique! And… No, but I'm only eight! Mom's been training me since I could walk!" Naruto tried his best to justify his shortcomings to the fox, who still scoffed at the boy.

"**You pale in comparison to her. You pale in comparison to most kunoichi. Kushina was able to conjure and control those chains when she was only seven. "** The fox stated, giving a deep, hollow chuckle. Naruto could clearly hear the fox's lack of emotion within the laugh, but decided to reign in his own.

"Look – why do you care? In fact, why the hell are you here in the first place? What would the Nine-Tailed Fox be doing in _my_ dream, anyways?" He asked it. The fox visibly sighed, and its shoulders slumped.

"**Minato, if put into this same situation you're currently in, would've figured this out immediately, child. I care because we're bound by seal. I'm here because, thanks to your other mother, I've been contained to a seal which has used you as its storage."** The fox explained slowly, mocking the boy and using simplified terms.

Naruto kept his anger in check, and thought on the information he was given.

"So what, mom musta sealed you in me when I was being born… You knew both of my mother's… Because you were sealed into one of them! It must've been Kushina, because her seal would've weakened at childbirth, requiring you to be re-sealed… into me!" Naruto said, piecing the info together.

"**And the last horse finally crosses the finish line. Although I guess I'm being too harsh with you, yes? After all, the original Uzumaki who sealed me into Kushina were grandmasters at the art. Her seal was perfect, and only breakable due to her superhuman amount of stress. You, however, had the seal written by a master, at best."** The fox began, ruminating with a distant look in its eyes – deep in thought of the subject.

"So, what, mom wasn't able to make the seal perfect?" Naruto asked. The fox looked at him, with less judging eyes.

"**No. She was in the midst of a great battle, and had to improvise the seal on the spot. She is a cunning kunoichi – I'm willing to admit that much – but it seems the seal she put you had some detriment to your chakra control."** The Kyuubi explained.

"Is that why you're ripping into me? Just because I can't control my chakra properly? There's a lot of it there, you know!" Naruto justified, stopping when the fox held up a massive paw.

"**The seals design allows for you to utilise my chakra at your whim. The actual writ is convoluted, which would've caused your lack of control in certain techniques, alongside some other things…"** The beast went into thought again, before shaking its head.

"**However, I digress. I am Kuruma, the Nine-Tailed Fox. You are my Jinchuuriki. I brought you here to assess you, and I am not impressed. I will bring you back into this place in a month's time. After this, I want you to see Minato, and ask her to repair your seal. Keep up your training, and I will re-evaluate you."** The fox stated, before closing its eyes.

"**Farewell, Uzumaki Namikaze Naruto. We shall meet again, and when we do, I hope to not be as disappointed."** It said, before sending the boy away.

Naruto later awoke to the smell of disinfectant and to the sight of bleached white.

(Konoha General Hospital)

Naruto groggily opened his eyes, and saw out the corner of them a watchful figure. As soon as he began to focus on it, however, it disappeared, and he immediately fell back to sleep – an unseen force pinching a group of nerves on his neck.

"What the fuffufufuu…" He mumbled to himself before falling to rest again.

(Some time later)

A massive pain still rang through his head, but was much less intense than when Kurama contacted him.

"Naruto!" Kushina hugged Naruto when she saw his eyes open.

"Hey mom… Where's-" Kushina motioned to Naruto's left, where he saw Minato holding his left hand, snoring loudly.

"Oh. How long was I out?" The tired blonde questioned.

"3 days, Naruto, what happened?" Minato began to stir.

"Both you and Mom need to be awake to hear this." Naruto said seriously.

And with a nudge, Minato was swiftly awoken.

And the events were relayed back to both of them.

"Why did you guys hide this from me?" Naruto asked pleadingly.

"At this point, we thought you didn't need to know." Answered Minato.

"That I had a _demon _inside me? I think that's something I should've known _some _time before this."

"…Yeah, that's fair enough." Minato chuckled sheepishly. She had other reasons she couldn't mention, but Naruto didn't need to know them at this point.

The three kept talking until they were visited by Hinata and Sasuke, both worried tremendously for their friend. Naruto assured them that it was just a killer migraine, and that they had nothing to worry about. His grin settled them both a little.

"So when will you be cleared to leave, Naruto?" asked Sasuke, eager to catch up on some training and to beat Naruto.

"That's a good question, Mom?" Naruto motioned towards Minato.

"If that headache of yours is gone, we can leave whenever you feel ready. I'll just get some doctors to check up on you and to clear you." Minato said, leaving the room after kissing Naruto on the forehead.

Naruto jumped out of bed, promptly falling down after realising his muscles hadn't been used in three days.

"We're glad you're okay, boy." The two mothers chuckled, Kushina picking up Naruto easily.

(?)

"Lady Ryujin?" An emissary of the dragon god asked, holding a golden bowl filled with crystalline water. The esteemed goddess herself turned around to face the emissary with a blank stare.

"You can feel the disturbance too, yes?" Ryujin asked, already knowing the answer. She sighed, and grasped a white cloth in her hands, before soaking it in the crystalline water and wiping her face.

"The very world is about to warp…" She said quietly, looking out of the windows of a glorious, ornate palace. With nothing more than a look, she ordered her emissary to gather some of those who would manage the newly arriving souls.

(?)

"Hmm… Quite a pickle. Quite a pickle, indeed." The hidden, faceless figure said, idly scratching her chin. She looked down into the blinding white pool of vision with a look of pure focus.

"Looks like we might have to prepare for something big, soon…" She mumbled to herself, before vanishing into a cascade of blackness and darkness.

* * *

><p>AN: Yup. Genderenderbends aplenty in this story, more so than before. Be wary and be prepared to have your frontal lobes fondled inappropriately.

Love yas,

Psy.


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